How to talk to your kids about money?
I can not repeat enough that we as parents have to forgive ourselves everyday for things we did in the past when we did not know any better. Guilt does not serve you well. Moving on by reflecting and adjusting is the better way and your children will benefit from the longterm effects. Please keep this in mind before continue reading!
Recently I came across a post in an online group and the questions were about how much can I involve my children in my money struggles.
The questions had 2 dimensions:
Here is my take on that matter:
As a Transformational Empowerment Coach I work with clients in releasing their subconscious sabotaging beliefs to be able to let go of the past and to show up fully confident and full of vitality to achieve their goals in life.
Very often these goals are in regards to money. Because money struggles are very common. So many people suffer from not having enough money, not being able to keep money or feel their exhausting hustle is not rewarded with enough wealth.
In the programs with my clients we regress back to scenes from childhood using a very powerful relaxing hypnosis technique to access the root causes of their individual money struggles.
The awareness of these root causes and the understanding on a subconscious level help my clients to let go. Let go of these limiting beliefs for good.
Most often these beliefs formed in early childhood have to do with beliefs that money is not good to have, has to be earned with hard work, is not worth fighting over or even with personal beliefs about not deserving to be wealthy for a variety of reasons. This is very personal to each individual.
What all my clients have in common though is that these sabotaging beliefs from childhood are preventing them from being fully able to reach their money goals later in life.
Now circle that insight back to our very own parenting...
Whatever we tell or even unintentionally show our kids about money most likely will end up in their subconscious mind as some sort of belief. The facts do not matter. Because the younger we are and the less life experience we have the more "off" our interpretation about circumstances will be. And these interpretations will be saved in the deepest subconscious mind as false beliefs.
So you absolutely want to avoid to instill fear and worry about money into your kids minds. Or involving them into your own struggles beyond their area of capability to contribute.
As nice and comforting as it may appear to have your kids understand your money struggles.... these are NOT their struggles. And they can not solve them for you. However, they might feel responsible anyway and then feel helpless because it is out of their zone of competence. Feeling hopeless and helpless as a child is one potential root cause for different forms of anxiety later in life.
So make sure your kids understand that it is YOUR responsibility to solve money issues. Ask yourself where the desire to involve your kids in your struggles is really coming from...be gentle and forgiving to yourself and really, really honest!
Life lessons for children are absolutely valuable to learn as long as they are not in contradiction to their self esteem, self confidence and understanding that they are able to live a fantastic life of their own. Because that is how we want them to live their lives, right?
So in order for our own kids to thrive, ask yourself what you would have liked to hear as a child yourself?
About money specifically. What kind of encouragement and truth would you have liked to hear? What was missing in your childhood?
That gives us clues what we need to tell our kids now! And more importantly what not to tell them.
Focus on what you want them to feel about their future and possibilities first:
Finding a job that they love, feeling confident about their talents, being able to share ideas and learn from things that did not work out the way they had planned them to work out. Knowing that their value as a human being has nothing to do with success, material assets, academic achievements. Living their life with confidence and in balance with their true self will enable them to have a healthy relationship with money.
Money will flow organically with the right mindset.
The more you understand about yourself and your life path, the more you will be able to bring consciousness into your children's lives.